Jack? Nothing! What? I wasn’t drawing on chest hair. I didn’t ask? What do you want? My computers become self-concious. I think you mean self-aware? Nope. I’m an out of date, fat, slow, MESS! You’re not, I’ve told you – I like your size! You’ve been looking at the newer models online. And they’re so much slimmer than me, I can’t help compare myself to that. Well I was just… looking? It doesn’t mean I prefer them. Yeah and you know, the newer models, they don’t have as many ports – do they? Exactly. I like that you’ve got a DVD slot. Not that you use it anymore. Uh what? Uhhh, maybe I should go. When was the last time you put a DVD inside me? Or even a USB! Do we have to do this in front of Jack? Well, let’s ask Jack shall we? Jack, how often do you think a man should put a USB inside his computer? Uhh, well everythings wireless these days innit? So it’s difficult to say. Huhh, there’s no intimacy anymore Dean. Whenever you get close to someone, you push them away. I don’t mean to, I just, I just need disk space. Well why don’t you just delete some stuff? Because SOMEONE won’t leave things in the past. Look, you two are so good for each other. You’ve been through this sort of thing before and you always come out okay. You’ve been together for years. Only because I can’t afford an upgrade. He doesn’t mean that. He’s just upset. There’s something else, he’s been using other devices. Whaaaat? You’re all part of the same brand, aren’t ya? But I didn’t consent to a polyamorous relationship. You’re always on your phone, it’s like I don’t exist. You know, if it weren’t for Jack – I’d never get turned on! Oooh. Wait, wait, sorry, what?! She’s phrased that, that-that sounds worse than it is. I never said that you could use my computer? It was just a couple of emails, it didn’t mean anything. It didn’t mean anything? Did you enjoy it? What? Dean? No – I have to know! Did you enjoy it? Do you like how he types on you? It’s.. different. Different?! Gentler. I type with purpose, I’m a fast typer. I’m not always in the mood for that. I mean why do men always wanna do it hard and fast? Take your time, there’s no rush. You treat me like an inanimate object. Why would that be? Well, at least Jack gets the USB in the right way up the first time. That’s totally normal. Y’know, lots of people struggle – with that. I mean, where do we go from here? Can we fix this? I don’t know this time, Dean. Jack, could you give us a moment alone please? Yeah, yeah, of course. Mmmm, UHHH, OOOH. Oh yeah. I mean are you rubbing your dick against the screen? Yes! What else would I be doing?

Self-Conscious Computer (feat. Anna Akana) – JACK & DEAN
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100 thoughts on “Self-Conscious Computer (feat. Anna Akana) – JACK & DEAN

  • August 3, 2018 at 3:49 pm
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    This is just a big innuendo XDD

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  • August 14, 2018 at 3:44 pm
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    This is strangely sexual

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  • August 23, 2018 at 9:02 pm
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    I would feel less weird if this were between a human and a human but it's a human and a computer.

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  • August 26, 2018 at 2:50 pm
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    I'm dying

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  • August 28, 2018 at 6:12 am
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    This is awesome! And really funny

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  • August 30, 2018 at 1:38 am
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    Her – Spike Jonze

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  • September 9, 2018 at 10:45 pm
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    The prequel to Her.

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  • September 14, 2018 at 2:06 pm
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    I love that's it's American

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  • September 18, 2018 at 9:28 am
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    The start though

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  • September 27, 2018 at 2:38 am
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    HOW DO THEY COME UP WITH THIS STUFF XD

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  • September 27, 2018 at 10:56 pm
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    I'm a bit unsure as to what I'm watching right now

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  • September 29, 2018 at 11:05 pm
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    What is it with these guys and relationships with objects: remember the balloons

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  • October 1, 2018 at 6:09 pm
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    This is the definition of life ear

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  • October 7, 2018 at 12:41 am
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    Well ya she’s deppressed. She’s a MacBook

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  • October 7, 2018 at 10:42 pm
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    I thought it was decent until… the e n d I n g wheeze

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  • October 12, 2018 at 3:41 pm
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    From now on i ship a beautiful being and jack

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  • October 13, 2018 at 6:15 am
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    This went like 0-100-20 in a 30 and then back to 100 in a wide range of emotional accelerations

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  • October 22, 2018 at 2:16 am
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    The end is hilarious

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  • October 31, 2018 at 9:54 pm
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    That ending tho..

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  • November 2, 2018 at 1:08 am
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    The fuck did I just watch

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  • November 16, 2018 at 1:22 am
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    Wait so they've had this computer become not only self-aware, but aware enough to remember past events, many times?

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  • November 17, 2018 at 3:33 am
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    This can be innocent…. I don't see it.lmao

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  • November 17, 2018 at 7:29 pm
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    “When was the last time you put a dvd inside me”
    -computer… bitch

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  • November 19, 2018 at 2:05 pm
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    what the fuck

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  • November 19, 2018 at 2:05 pm
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    it sounds like they are talking about their relasionship and sex

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  • November 25, 2018 at 7:25 pm
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    this is my favorite

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  • November 27, 2018 at 11:15 pm
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    Has your computer always been self-aware or…?

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  • December 6, 2018 at 8:44 pm
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    That sounds like mila kunis

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  • December 7, 2018 at 5:26 pm
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    I'm uncomfortable

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  • December 9, 2018 at 12:13 pm
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    wow i love her (2013)

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  • December 9, 2018 at 10:04 pm
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    PLZ SUB TO ME

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  • December 11, 2018 at 5:52 pm
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    I'm still traumatised

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  • December 12, 2018 at 8:40 am
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    I can't stop laughing! 😂

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  • December 13, 2018 at 7:38 pm
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    LMAO 😂

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  • January 16, 2019 at 10:20 pm
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    I spit out my juice and I think I’m dead of laughing so hard

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  • February 7, 2019 at 12:07 am
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    This is my favorite Black Mirror episode

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  • February 7, 2019 at 5:11 pm
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    Dean, why would cheat on jack man?!

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  • February 21, 2019 at 9:28 am
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    Lmao imagine if it was the first mac

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  • February 26, 2019 at 2:17 am
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    And here's me thinking I was going to be a whole lot of sexual jokes but I was being sexual, and then you have to do a computer sex in it. I mean how would you even do it with a computer? Do you stick your %!_÷<%& &$&$; <×<÷&■♡|£ in her <+&^$°♧¡《€》♤¤¡○£》€●¥○♤ or do you >÷¤♤{~7 her (@[&÷&;$ with your <+]^_"?¿♤¤¥●♤ or what.

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  • March 16, 2019 at 3:21 am
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    WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

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  • April 16, 2019 at 3:49 pm
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    There was no mention of the headphones JACK.

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  • April 20, 2019 at 10:33 pm
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    Why do I feel bad for a computer? 😁

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  • April 21, 2019 at 5:31 pm
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    and so began Deans journey to become a tech priest he would later go on to have a secret affair with his toaster

    leave a like if you get the reference

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  • April 30, 2019 at 3:47 am
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    Imagine playing osu mania on this computer

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  • April 30, 2019 at 11:34 pm
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    I love the fact he asks the question 😂

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  • May 1, 2019 at 12:36 pm
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    Why is this a thing.

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  • May 9, 2019 at 4:24 pm
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    Why do people always respond with "It was… Different"?? Like that is literally the worst response.

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  • May 18, 2019 at 7:52 am
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    The bing sound the computer made when he walked back in got me

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  • June 2, 2019 at 3:49 pm
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    Fuck yes! I didn’t know I needed this in my life! ❤️😂👌🏻

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  • June 11, 2019 at 5:25 am
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    This is a very clever sketch

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  • June 14, 2019 at 1:18 pm
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    wtf did I just watch.

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  • June 18, 2019 at 7:14 pm
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    He fucked the laptop

    Reply
  • June 21, 2019 at 3:52 am
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    Cannot be unseen. Total gold.

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  • June 21, 2019 at 3:53 am
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    Well at least it will keep Jack from using his computer again….maybe.

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  • June 21, 2019 at 3:50 pm
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    who else wasn’t expecting the ending..

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  • June 25, 2019 at 8:12 am
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    Y’all have made weird shit but this has to be the video that has caused the biggest amount uncomfortable and weirded out feelings by far

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  • June 27, 2019 at 12:15 pm
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    well looks like im moving on to a console

    Reply
  • July 3, 2019 at 6:58 pm
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    this made me so uncomfortable

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  • July 16, 2019 at 12:42 pm
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    It’s perfectly bad and badly perfect

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  • July 16, 2019 at 12:43 pm
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    D~~ean~~aniel Radcliffe am I right

    Reply
  • July 22, 2019 at 12:33 am
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    I feel like this is private and I should be watching this with the room dark…or not at all

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  • July 27, 2019 at 10:11 am
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    Mine get tons of usb because I plug my mouse in and it never comes out and another usb for more storage and another for a cooling device that she sits on she/computer….

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  • August 12, 2019 at 12:39 am
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    All other computers are male an aren't bothered to talk about their problems

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  • August 14, 2019 at 4:37 pm
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    This is the worst thing you have ever created and you should feel bad

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  • August 21, 2019 at 12:27 pm
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    The ending is too uncomfortable but I'm laughing my ass off like Dean just had the wank with a computer

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  • August 23, 2019 at 5:08 am
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    Tag urself I’m THE computer

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  • August 26, 2019 at 10:49 am
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    Just… I… I mean… What the…

    Why!?

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  • August 26, 2019 at 9:26 pm
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    This is one of those rare sketches that make me go: wtf

    Reply
  • August 27, 2019 at 2:39 pm
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    "There's something else…He's been using other devices!"
    "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat!!!"

    Reply
  • August 29, 2019 at 10:27 pm
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    I can’t tell if the FBI agent is impressed or not

    Reply
  • September 1, 2019 at 9:09 am
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    Lmao

    Reply
  • September 10, 2019 at 6:51 am
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    Hope Dean got tested first, don't want your computer to get a virus.

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  • September 12, 2019 at 10:53 am
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    How did they get anna akanna?

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  • September 12, 2019 at 10:01 pm
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    😲

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  • September 13, 2019 at 12:51 am
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    0:04 wot?

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  • September 14, 2019 at 10:48 pm
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    I've seen everything.
    a man in a relationship with his computer… then his best friend using the computer too..
    wait what?

    Reply
  • September 15, 2019 at 5:42 pm
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    What a twist!!

    Reply
  • September 15, 2019 at 8:11 pm
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    2:22 what the fuck am I watching

    Reply
  • September 16, 2019 at 3:00 am
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    Should've gotten a windows laptop

    Reply
  • September 19, 2019 at 2:36 am
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    Anna akana is actually a gorgeous little lady!!!

    Reply
  • September 20, 2019 at 4:13 pm
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    This is the weirdest thing ever

    Reply
  • September 20, 2019 at 9:12 pm
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    Her(2013)

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  • September 22, 2019 at 3:37 pm
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    You've been looking at newer models, Jack!
    That was the best part!

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  • September 27, 2019 at 12:13 am
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    I think there was an inuendo somewhere in there

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  • October 4, 2019 at 11:24 pm
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    I bet she misses his 3.5" floppy

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  • October 15, 2019 at 7:16 pm
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    im so uncomfortable

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  • October 15, 2019 at 9:12 pm
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    I don't like how she generalized it to be all men that do it fast and hard

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  • October 17, 2019 at 5:26 am
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    What the FUCK are these videos

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  • October 19, 2019 at 9:53 am
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    The best part was the "device unplugged" soundeffect at the end

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  • October 20, 2019 at 1:19 pm
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    this is literally the movie her

    Reply
  • October 22, 2019 at 5:35 am
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    Okay I feel like this is some really weird kinky thing

    Reply
  • October 23, 2019 at 3:19 pm
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    Hate when this happens

    Reply
  • October 27, 2019 at 2:07 am
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    …what the fuck

    Reply
  • October 28, 2019 at 9:36 am
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    You have humanized them. We cannot go back.

    Reply
  • October 31, 2019 at 4:04 am
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    As soon as the computer started dissing itself my phone just blanked and shut YouTube down. I think it may have related…

    Reply
  • October 31, 2019 at 10:08 am
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    Human relationships are wierd.

    Reply
  • October 31, 2019 at 2:52 pm
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    This is the 3rd time ive watched this and im….. im still scarred for life

    Reply
  • November 3, 2019 at 7:06 am
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    The trailer for Her 2

    Reply

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