– Hello, good afternoon, and welcome to The Shirtless Painter. Anyone can paint, and
anyone can paint anything. And today I’m gonna teach you how to paint a desktop computer. You can see I already have
my canvas primed here, and I’ve added just a hint of a desktop and just a hint of a computer room. It could be any room. It could be a child’s room
who’s gone to college, whatever room you feel would hold a desktop computer and, of course, a desk. Alright, so we’ll go
over our materials here. We’ve got, of course, our canvas. We’ve got our brush, palette knife. And, of course, we have our
different colors of paint, (smack) which we’ll show to you now on the screen. Okay, so, the first thing we wanna do is obviously get our computer. So we’re gonna go ahead and
take some of our computer white. Alright. And we’ll mix it with just a
little bit of Big Bird yellow. (scraping) K. Just to give it that nice computer hue. Okay. And we just take a dab
of our Swedish black, just to give it that, woop,
a little too much there. Just to give it that nice
hue of a family computer. Every family needs a computer. You need a computer to check e-mail, to book travel, stay
in touch with friends. And today you’re gonna paint one. K. So we begin by just sort of
sketching out our computer, computer shape here. And I’d say this is
about a 17 inch display, but again, anything you want,
any size computer you want. Mine’s a Gateway computer. Yours can be anything, a Viewsonic, a IBM. Now, I don’t own a computer, and that’s okay. Don’t need to be a computer
expert to paint a computer. Okay, so we’ve got our
main computer shape here. And every computer needs a keyboard. So we’ll go ahead and do
our keyboard stripe here, our little… (light scraping) Keyboard area. Look at that, look at that. And this is a keyboard with,
this is a number keyboard. Some keyboards don’t have
numbers on them, some do. Either way is okay, whatever you need. You might be doin’ spreadsheets, you might be a math professor. Great, so we got our main
computer shapes here. And of course every computer needs (light scraping) a mouse. We’re tight on space, so
we’re gonna put the mouse, we’re gonna go ahead and put
the mouse behind the keyboard, (light scraping) just kinda store it there. And you know, maybe
Dad’s usin’ the computer, maybe Junior is usin’ the computer. Or maybe it’s got some, maybe it’s got some grease marks on there. Okay, so we got our main
computer shapes laid out. Now we’re gonna add just
a bit of the dark stuff, a little Swedish black, just
to add some nice shadowy areas. That’s where it’s nice and
shady, ride on the tip of the… Right on the tip of the
mouse, tip of the keyboard. And we’ll just start to just gently etch in our screen here. K. (light scraping) It’s good to start to think
about what types of websites you might want to put on the computer, what website you might wanna
have the home page set to. So start thinkin’ about that, some of your favorite websites. This is an old keyboard, so… Some of the keys may have gotten
just a little bit yellowed. So we’re gonna take some
of our computer yellow and just mix it with the
other computer colors that we’ve created here. And I’m gonna go ahead
and switch brushes here. (clicking) I’m gonna switch to a smaller brush. This one is about, if you look at it, you can see it’s about the
size of a key on a keyboard, which is how you know it’s the right size for what we’re working with. K. So I’m just gonna go ahead
and paint in some keys here. These could be any keys. You don’t have to stick to
standard American keyboards. You could put the ASDF,
they don’t have to be anywhere near each other. You could put F1, number lock. This is actually my
number lock right here. Anywhere you want. Anywhere you need an old, silly old key. I like to do keys that… Well, that do special things that a computer couldn’t even do. I’m gonna add a key right here. This’ll just be between you and me, but you press this key and
that causes world peace. Wouldn’t that be nice, world peace? No one fighting, everyone just
painting and using computers. K. And then of course we got our big old return key. K, look at that. Look at that. Alright, now it’s time,
we’ll take a little bit of this sort of puke
color that we have here. And then we’ll add a little,
just a little string, little mouse string, and have that connect
right to the display. K. And we’ll do our… Get our little mouse buttons here. If you got a mouse, you gotta be able to right-click and left-click. K, just maybe some highlights… Right around there. And again, you know, I didn’t save room for the tower itself. Again, this is just a display,
a mouse, and a keyboard. But as I like to say,
there are no goof-ups, only pleasant whoopsies. And this is a pleasant whoopsie. We’re gonna give this mouse
a little place to live by creating our very own mousepad. Little bit a leprechaun
blue, some Green Day green. K.
(light scraping) Go ahead and mix that up, get
a nice blue-green mousepad. (clicking) And you could do any kinda mousepad. Mine’s gonna be an X-Files mousepad from the show The X-Files. But yours could be any
show, or no show at all. It’s really up to you, that’s the beauty of painting and the beauty of mousepads. Okay, so we’ll just, we
got our mouse right here. So we’ll just do a little hint. And it’ll sorta run off the page here, but that’s okay. Canvas is what we call it. Just right around there. And over to the side. K. And then we’ll just do a
little highlight there, just to give it some depth. Beautiful. Alright. And as I said, it is an X-Files (splashing) (clicking) mousepad. So I’ll just take a little bit of our X-Files yellow and go ahead and wet that up so it
really slips and slides. K. Look at that. Look at that. Okay, well, we only have room for X-File. But like I said, there is no goof-ups, no screw-ups, just pleasant whoopsies. And this is a pleasant whoopsie. X-File. That could be a new show that I create, or that we create together. (tapping) Okay, so now, as I’ve
been goin’ along here, I’ve created alotta good grey water, which I’m gonna, which is
gonna come into play here. (light splashing) So as you can see, the edges of the computer are a bit rough. You wouldn’t wanna run
your fingers along that, like a brand new desktop. So (sharp inhale) I’m just gonna take some of our good grey water
and just sorta wet it up, soften it up, just to give it that nice, sleek computer look. It’s fun, too. M-kay, so at this point
we got our basics down. We just need to fill up this screen. So whatever business you’re
up to on your computer, that’s none of my business. But we’re gonna made
it our business today. So we’ll go ahead and take
some of our X-Files color, go ahead and mix it with
some of the plain computer. That’s not quite right. We’ll go ahead and add a little red. K, so you can see what
I’ve got goin’ on there. (light splashing) I’m not happy with that. I’m gonna go ahead and
actually just take some white and create some simple
browser windows here. You could be shopping online,
could be IMing with a friend, playing Mortal Kombat with
a friend from Vietnam. That’s from The Cable Guy… One of my favorite movies. Alright, so we got one browser window. (light scraping) But we need to really make it pop. So again, we’ll go back to
some of our X-Files blue and just create the inner
world of the browser window. And what do we do when we got a browser window open
and our mom walks in? We X out of it. Can’t do that without an X. Just X right out of it, never happened. So this, now that we’ve got our browser window X fine brush here, we can go ahead and add the
brand name of the computer. I’m gonna go ahead and take a little bit of this Gateway yellow, add
it to our computer white. And we’ll just create
a nice little Gateway. Gateway. Computers aren’t the only gateways. A painting can be a gateway, a gateway to creativity, a gateway to fun. Okay. No Gateway can be complete without it’s signature cow branding. There, just a little cow, nothin’ fancy. Don’t have to do the whole cow, but you can get the milk for free. And we’re just gonna take
some of our Swedish black, mix it with our computer grey here, just to add a little depth to our screen, just really make it pop with that grey. And this is sorta, this is,
we got our computer here. It’s a lonely computer,
doesn’t have anything to really play or do other
than its own programs. I’m just gonna go ahead and… Mix some of our Big Bird
ochre with our teenager red. And I’m just gonna make it, oh, I’m gonna give it a little basketball. Just a little basketball that
it could sit up top here. And yours doesn’t have to be a basketball. It could be a football. It could be a basketball or a football. So we’re gonna go ahead and,
we got our browser window here. Well, first let me add, go ahead and add our stitching
on our basketball here. Beautiful. Do you play basketball? (clicking)
(light slpashing) I do. We’ve got our main screen here. We’ve got one little browser window. What do you say we go
ahead and give it a friend? And we’ve already got our sorta grey, slop-colored browser window,
so I’m gonna go ahead and make this one a nice,
give it a red browser window. Lotta people will try to tell ya browser windows can’t be red. Browser windows can be
whatever you want them to be. Doesn’t even have to be the same size or shape as our other one. You could extend that browser
window by using your mouse, any size you need. Whoever owns this computer, this desktop, well, I think they like entertainment. So I’m gonna go ahead and… Have ’em logged on to E! News. That’s a great place
to get all your gossip, Hollywood trends, anything that’s goin’ on in the world of entertainment. Sometimes painting is harder than drawing. And again, we ran outta space for the S. But that’s okay, ’cause
it still says E! New, and that can be a new website just for us. Hey, yeah, what the hey. This browser window’s lonely. We’re gonna go ahead
and put the S up here. E! News. And while we’re at it,
this old X-Files mousepad is missing an S, too. And just put it right next to here, SS. Since this says SS on it already, we might as well go
ahead and make it a boat. Just make it a boat… Any kinda sailboat. (light scraping) And here’s where you can
have some fun with it. Don’t feel restricted to the borders of the computer monitor here. Someday we’re probably gonna
have technology like this, that projects… Clear off your browser window. Okay. Then we’ll just add our
little side sail here. Now you’re ready to set
sail on the internet. And what the hey, we’ll
take some of our flag red and just do a little flag. Nothin’ wrong with that. (light splashing)
Alright. Now, as always, as I
like to do with all my (scraping) paintings here, I’m just gonna go ahead and add my wife. And you don’t have to worry
about size or scale here. Today she’s gonna be a small wife. Use my wife yellow to
add some blonde hair. Oh, what color would she like to wear? Well, she likes watching the X-Files, too, so I’ll mix together
a little X-Files green so that my wife’s dress
matches the mousepad. When I see my wife wearing this dress, I say “Does the dress match the mousepad?” And that’s sorta my little joke. She’s been inside on
the computer too long, so we’re gonna make her just
a little pale around the arms and the legs. So we’ll just add our white face here. (light scraping)
Okay. M-kay, and then, of course,
we’ll just add a little. My wife’s upset with me today because I’ve been hoggin up the computer. (light splashing) So we’ll put a little scowl on her face. (light scraping) Perfect. When you’re ready to finish things up, when you’re ready to
escape from your painting, well, you just add a little escape key. Okay, I ran out of room for the c, but we’ll just put it up here
with our friends on the boat. (light scraping)
(light splashing) And to my friends out there,
I thank you for joining me. This has been The Shirtless Painter, and I invite you to take off
your shirt and paint with me. (light scraping) Thanks for joining. (crunching) (elegant jazzy music)

How To Paint A Desktop Computer
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36 thoughts on “How To Paint A Desktop Computer

  • March 26, 2017 at 4:03 pm
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    Shitpost

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 4:06 pm
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    This is borderline experimental

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  • March 26, 2017 at 4:06 pm
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    wow theres just.. so much to unpack here..

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 4:09 pm
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    still early

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  • March 26, 2017 at 4:11 pm
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    what the hell is this

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 4:12 pm
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    Whoever wrote this needs better drugs than the ones that they took before they came up with this.

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 4:31 pm
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    is that a fentanyl patch?lol

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 4:37 pm
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    This is a parody of some painting teaching. I find this actually quite nice.

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 4:40 pm
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    But can it run Crysis?

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 4:43 pm
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    masterpiece!

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 5:20 pm
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    This is clearly a rip-off of a Dayvin Ross sketch that Steve Zaragoza did on Nuclear Family

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 5:29 pm
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    This is pretty similar to Dayvin Ross by Steve Zaragoza except the sketch Nuclear Family did was actually funny.
    So since this wasn't funny, die.

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 5:30 pm
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    Can we not pretend like this isn't blatantly copying Dayvin Ross?

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 5:50 pm
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    How is he fat and not fat at the same time?

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 6:21 pm
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    Dayvin Ross ripoff.

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 7:20 pm
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    too many people missed the humor in this imo

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 7:36 pm
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    Dayvin Ross is superior

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 7:58 pm
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    rip of of nuclear family vid

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 8:18 pm
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    I dig the originality, Bob Ross would be laughing his head off.

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 8:31 pm
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    i would love to see more guests in this show.

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 9:40 pm
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    Did you just get your gall bladder removed?

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 9:51 pm
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    I watched the whole thing without skipping and im not even stoned…

    Reply
  • March 26, 2017 at 10:26 pm
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    Disgusting

    Reply
  • March 27, 2017 at 12:13 am
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    Die … but the best part is when he eats that chip with the guacamole. Noice 👌

    Reply
  • March 27, 2017 at 12:57 am
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    Dayvin Ross reigns supreme

    Reply
  • March 27, 2017 at 1:01 am
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    Dayvin Ross rip off

    Reply
  • March 27, 2017 at 1:18 am
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    I died from the boredom…

    Reply
  • March 27, 2017 at 1:46 am
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    How about doing a Pantless Friday ?

    Reply
  • March 27, 2017 at 5:35 am
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    been wanting to do this for a long while! haha love itt

    Reply
  • March 27, 2017 at 5:50 pm
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    first one was better

    Reply
  • March 27, 2017 at 5:56 pm
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    ❤️😘

    Reply
  • March 29, 2017 at 5:07 am
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    Where is his backpack?

    Reply
  • March 29, 2017 at 2:28 pm
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    And this is entertaining because???

    Reply
  • February 10, 2018 at 4:28 am
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    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    Reply

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