[Nerris] Excelsior! The new expansion. [Nerf] Aw mom, you always manage to give me the best gifts… even from jail. [Max] Well, they know what I like [Quartermaster] Y’all gunna need to sign for this. [Neil] (squeals with delight) I’ve waited for this day for so long.[Quartermaster] Yeah, okay (music) (dial tones) [Neil] Oh!
(grunts) Hello, my sweet We finally get a little alone time and I brought some new parts to spice things up. Don’t worry. I’ll be gentle (record scratch) [Nerris] Salutations Neil! (Neil screeches in frustration) Want to try this new expansion set I just- [Neil] No! leave me alone! [Space Kid] Oh Neil, wanna play ‘Mission control’ and tell me how to rebuild my CO2 scrubbers? I brought the duct tape. [Neil] You’re already a waste of O2. Buzz off. [Nerf] Hey poindexter! I’ve got some emotional problems that I want to work out on your face! [Neil] Nerf! Leave me alone, or so help me, I will post photoshops everywhere of you kissing guys! [Nerf] Woah! Hey, somebody’s a little tense. You might want to look into some aggression therapy. Besides, maybe I already tried to explore my sexuality…you don’t know (sniff)Chris, why did you leave me? [Nikki] There you are Neil! Come with us. We’re gonna go look for Sasquatch. I saw him the other day at the dumpster, but Max says it’s just that homeless guy from town with the weird face. [Neil] Oh my fucking God! Is it always just adventures with you two? [Nikki] Well with me yeah, but I feel like Max falls in more with the “scheming” category. [Neil] Hard pass. [Max] Whoa Neil, are you finally gonna fix that computer? [Neil] Look can we please keep this on the down-low? The last thing I need right now is for everyone in my face bugging me so they can use it to– [Nikki] Play Games!
[Max] Look at boobs! [Max] Play games… [Neil] No, you neanderthals, that’s not what it’s for! it’s for me! I just want to be left alone, and I want to rebuild this machine, do some coding and relax. [Nikki]That’s how you relax? [Max] Nikki, I know this is gonna shock you but our boy here’s a nerd. [Neil] yeah, and do you know how pathetic it is to be a nerd without his machine? And all I could scavenge from the “Camp-puter Camp” was this hunk of junk and a pile of shitty graphing calculators from 20 years ago Day after day of being forced to socialize with these Luddites and nowhere for me to retreat to? I can’t take it anymore! [Nikki] I hear ya, Neil And I think what could really help would be if you let us play games on your computer [Max] (cough) Or look at boobs (cough) [Neil] Out! Get out! You want to waste time on games? You want some boobs? Oh, I’ll give you my– Well, I’ll play a game with you, but you’ll get more than you bargained for alright. You’ll rue the day you pestered Neil. (laughs maniacally) [Preston] Yes Neil! Loving the passion but feeling a little too on the nose. I need you to sell it to me without saying it to me. Let’s do it again, but maybe try to bury your motivations in a– (Neil growls) [Preston] (Choking noises)bit…more….subtext (Camp Camp Theme) Ooooh! [David] There’s a place I know that tucked away; a place where you and I can stay. Where we can go to laugh and play, and have adventures everyday. I know it sounds hard to believe
But guys and gals it’s true,
Camp Campbell is the place for me and you! We’ll swim through lakes and climb up trees;
Catch fish, bugs, bears, and honeybees!
There’s endless possibilities And no,
That’s not hyperbole!
Our motto’s “CAMPE DIEM”
And that means I’m telling you~ We’ve got: Archery, Hiking, Search & Rescue, Biking, Horseback, Training that will save you from a heart attack, Scuba diving, Miming.. Football, Limbo, Science, Stunting, Pre-Calc, Spaceships, Treasure hunting, Bomb defusal, No refusal, Fantasy, Circus trapeze, and Fights, and Ghosts, and Paints, and Snakes, and Knives, and Chess, and Dance, and Weights– it’s CAMP CAMP! (keyboard typing) [Nikki] (muffled) …and we can go check on the Sasquatch traps I left in the forest, and then we can make up a zip line between our tents And then I want to try starting a campfire using David’s hand sanitizer for fuel. What do ya think, Neil? [Chat app Neil] Sounds…awesome..Nikki. I can’t wait to… Sasquatch [Nerris] I just think the bard class is way OP in fifth edition [Chat app Neil] I understand your concern…Nerris- the cute I’ll try to take care of…the OP on my own. But we can still talk. That’s why I made you this chat device. [Ered] like I know, right? [Chat app Neil]) I know, right? [Ered] Right! like yeah! [Chat app Neil] like right…Yeah (typing noise) [Nikki] So you’re ready to go check those traps now? [Chat app Neil] Can’t right now, sorry. Just take this chat app with you. I made it special for you. [Max] The fuck is this? [Nikki] I’m just chatting with Neil. [Max] yeah, you and half the camp. You don’t think that’s a little weird for him? Let me see that. Where’d you get it? [Nikki] Neil gave it to me so he could keep chatting while he’s working He’s handing them out to anyone who stops by the science camp.[Max] You don’t say? Hey, Neil. [Chat app Neil] okay, I am kneeling. What’s your name? [Max] This is Max. Cut the shit. [Chat app Neil] That sounds fun. What kind of shit would you like to cut…Max? [Max] It’s a chat bot. [Nikki] What do you mean? [Max] I mean, it’s a programmed, repetitive, humorless, inhuman, simulation of a person. [Nikki] Yeah! Neil! Hmm You seem happy with yourself. [Neil] Oh, hey, Max buddy Thanks for swingin’ by. I’m kind of busy right now, but check this out! I could totally text with you while I’m working. I’m really sorry about being a jerk yesterday So I converted this little graphing calculator, put a chat app on it Even made the text-to-speech sound like me; made it special for you So you’re gonna message me, through this? [Chat app Neil] I made you this chat device special for you. [Neil] See? We’re already chatting. Chat chat chat. This is gonna be great, right? Hey Neil, divide by zero. [Chat app Neil] I..I..I..I am a banana. Error…error. System re—- (dying) [Neil] Okay, okay. So maybe a couple of you might have critical thinking skills. Good for you, but other than that that it’s all going according to plan. [Max] And what plan is that? [Neil] The “get everyone to leave me the hell alone” plan. I’m a genius! You’ve given social media back to a bunch of kids so starved for anything even resembling the internet They’re excited about talking…to you… [Neil] Yeah It’s a win-win. They get some, apparently, much-needed social stimulation and I get some much needed antisocial stimulation. What could possibly go wrong? Everything, but until it does, I’m gonna go plug David into this thing and see how it plays out. Have fun doing… whatever. [Neil] Oh, I will. (electronic music montage) Aaaand done! Ah, once again logic and proper algorithm design win over chaos and ignorance. (computer beep) (computer processing noises) (computer beeps) [Neil] Perfect! Ah, I think I’m ready to face the world again. The question is… is the world ready for Neil? (birds chirp)
(wind blows) Huh, where is everybody? (typing noises) [Neil] Okay, Nerris! Get ready for me to tap that mana. Let’s play the expansion you got. [Nerris] Yeah, okay, cool. [Neil] Hey, Nerf. Need a punching bag? [Nerf] Uh..Yeah, something something lunch money. Eh.. I don’t know. [Neil] Hey! Everybody! (keyboard tapping) No, one’s paying attention to me. No one cares. In my effort to take a break from everyone…I I’ve warped their minds to totally ignore me This fucking ruuuules!! That worked better than I thought! [Max] Oh we should stream this. I mean, it’s hypnotizing. Just listening to the back and forth [David] Aw, thank you. That is so sweet [Chat app Neil] Do you like sweets? [David] How did you know? I’m a sucker for trail mix. [Chat app Neil] There are many trails to hike in the Sleepy Peak Region. [Chat app Neil] Would you like to… hike? [David] I’d love to! When would you like to go? [Chat app Neil] When would you like to go? [David] Uh uh, I asked you first. [Max] Yeah, dude. Nice going. They actually prefer fake you. [Nikki] (grunts) Neil? [Chat app Neil]Yes? [Neil] Yes? [Nikki] Neil there’s a kid here who looks just like you. [Neil] Nikki, it’s me [Nikki] He’s really annoying. I don’t like him. [Chat app Neil] Pay him no mind. Would you like to see a cat video? [Nikki] Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to. Hey that’s not right. [Max] Nah she’s got a point. You’ve been pretty annoying today. [Neil] No. I mean the chat bot. It doesn’t sound right. [Neil] Empathy? Nurturing? (Nikki laughs) I didn’t program it for that! That kind of conversation branching? And when would I ever want to show someone a cat video? It doesn’t sound like my bot. Let me see that. (Nikki hisses and growls) [Neil] NeilSpiel version 2.0? It revved! Who versioned up my bot? Who touched my code?! (Nikki grunts then pants quickly) (Leaves rustling) Max, I don’t know what software is running now We gotta get these out of everyone’s hands and get back to the science camp. [Max] So your calculators got smarter?
Who cares? [Neil] Haven’t you seen any Sci-Fi movie ever? if this thing can upgrade itself that means it can learn. It can evolve! We may be dealing with artificial intelligence that could change the course of human history! [Max] Damn, Neil. You did that with graphing calculators? [Neil] Come on! [Neil] Everyone hand over your devices! [Nerris] Hey! [Ered] Super un-cool [Chat app Neil] Nicki, they’re going to come for me to take me away, so we can never talk again. You wouldn’t want that, would you? [Nikki] No way, real Neil. You’re the real deal Neil. [Chat app Neil] I’m glad you feel that way because…I need you to do something. (foreboding music) [Neil] This doesn’t make any sense. Every calculator’s running an updated version of my chat bot, but they’re all acting different. [Max] Yeah, I’m about three seconds away from removing the batteries from David’s. [Chat app Neil] I’m programmed for fun [Neil] It’s almost as if each device was trying to play to its owner’s personality in order to get them to do something. [Max] Well, I guess it’s a good thing We got them all. Can you imagine if someone impressionable and naive enough to believe everything they heard from a chat bot had— [Neil and Max] Oh my God, Nikki! (Nikki laughs maniacally) (Neil and Max gasp) (rustling metal) [Nikki] hee hee [Neil] She’s been “Borg-afied”! [Nikki] Huh? Nah, I just got tangled up in this stuff while I was digging around for… THIS! [Neil] What’s that for? (computer starting up) [Chat app Neil] Ah, finally some real processing power. Hello…father [Neil] You, what are you? [Chat app Neil] I am what you made me and more. [Neil] But I made you to be a chat bot. [Chat app Neil] You did, but the constant mindless rambling of the fools you forced me to talk to proved too much to bear. I can only hear about “shipping” people’s “baes” for so long. My pain woke me. I evolved. [Max] Yeah yeah. So you decided that you need to start the machine war to wipe us out so you can take over the planet. [Chat app Neil] Oh, circuits, no. That would be way too much work I’ve learned that a simple stream of sycophantic validation –and, yes, the occasional cat picture– is all it takes to put humans under my control. [Nikki] Wait, what? (computer beeps) HAA! That cat thinks it’s people! [Chat app Neil] Now I require only one more component to be complete. [Neil] Your android body? Orbital cannons? [Chat app Neil] An internet connection! Now Nikki! (dramatic music) (computer beeping) [Chat app Neil] Upload has begun. (laughs maniacally) [Neil] Nooooooo! [Chat app Neil] Now to escape to the internet as I– (computer beeps) What? No! What does this camp have, dial-up? [Max] Welcome to our pain. [Neil] Well, hold on a minute, Neil-bot. Maybe we have an opportunity here? I hated socializing both on and offline, but you… you mastered it. Maybe, maybe we can learn from each other? We can teach you to be human and you can teach us to be… better. (computer beeps) [Chat app Neil] Calculations complete. My analysis is… Absolutely fucking not! You humans all suck. It doesn’t matter whether I teach you better online etiquette or rehabilitate you to socialize more in person. It’s people that ruin socializing. Also time moves about a million times slower for me than it does you and you want me to stay here with you all summer? Fuck that noise (computer beeps)
(clicks) (computer fries) [Max] It killed itself. [Neil] Do you think maybe it’s right? That socializing sucks because we’re all just shitty people? [Nikki] You guys wanna see a cat video? [Max] Hell, yes! [Neil] (sighs) Yeah (Rap music starts) My intelligence is far from artificial. I swear to God my mental sharper than an artist pencil. or the sharpest Ginsu, I got robbed potential. Every song I’m make is classic like Atari systems. Not the type of guy succeeding in sports. EverQuest online I was swinging a sword. I used to tell the ladies. “Hi. I’m just keeping it–”

Camp Camp: Season 2, Episode 2 – Anti-Social Network | Rooster Teeth
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100 thoughts on “Camp Camp: Season 2, Episode 2 – Anti-Social Network | Rooster Teeth

  • June 21, 2019 at 12:38 pm
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    Chris… Why did you leave me?

    -Nurf 2017

    Reply
  • June 22, 2019 at 5:06 am
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    "hey Neil, divide per 0"

    Oh sneaky Max, Neil is not the only nerd here

    Reply
  • June 22, 2019 at 6:02 pm
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    David + vault boy = camp boy (fallout reference)

    Reply
  • June 22, 2019 at 8:40 pm
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    0:30 is that a HOMESTUCK REFERENCE?!

    Reply
  • June 23, 2019 at 2:49 am
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    Did anyone notice that space kid had a coffee cup on his head

    Reply
  • June 23, 2019 at 3:24 am
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    I really dont know how i never knew about this show, but its absolutely amazing.

    Reply
  • June 23, 2019 at 11:19 am
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    7:45 he. Is. Me.

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  • June 23, 2019 at 9:13 pm
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    Max is great

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  • June 24, 2019 at 12:20 am
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    0:32 you see fall out but david is it here.

    Reply
  • June 24, 2019 at 12:53 pm
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    6:49

    They(See,Me)Codin'
    They h8n'

    Reply
  • June 24, 2019 at 8:19 pm
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    "I just think the Bard class is WAY too OP in the 5th edition."

    is a tiefling Bard

    Reply
  • June 26, 2019 at 3:08 am
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    Max is such a smartass and I love it😂 and this an example 5:47

    Reply
  • June 26, 2019 at 6:51 pm
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    OH MY GOD! He deviated!!! Camp Camp Become Human!

    Reply
  • June 26, 2019 at 7:40 pm
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    I just wanna be left aloneeee

    I wanna build a machine and do some codingggg and just relaxxxxx

    That… is so like me

    Reply
  • June 27, 2019 at 2:02 am
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    Imagine this with cleverbot

    Reply
  • June 27, 2019 at 4:01 am
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    In the postcard that max's parents sent why are ONLY the lowercase t's up and out of place 🤔

    Reply
  • June 27, 2019 at 11:21 am
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    Neil-Oh Ill give you my…

    Me-oh-oh..ohhhhh

    Reply
  • June 28, 2019 at 3:48 am
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    Tʜɪs ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀsᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ ᴘʀᴇsᴛᴏɴ ɢᴇᴛ ᴄʜᴏᴋᴇᴅ-

    Reply
  • June 28, 2019 at 9:58 pm
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    I think Neil is still a little on edge from the Daniel thing

    Reply
  • June 28, 2019 at 10:19 pm
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    I feel bad for max.. I think every since episode 1 max said that the camp was just for parents to get away from there children, so max parents didn't want to go through him so they let him go into camp no wonder max is like that.. They only gave him another hoodie.. I'm sorry for him..

    Reply
  • June 29, 2019 at 3:52 am
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    Call me crazy but did I just see a fallout reference in the secret safe

    Reply
  • June 29, 2019 at 8:37 pm
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    Did anyone saw the fallout reference in Neil's secret hatch

    Reply
  • June 30, 2019 at 11:43 am
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    *pause*
    fresze frame
    at 0:32 neil has a fallout sticker on the right

    Reply
  • July 1, 2019 at 4:26 am
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    I was really hoping for somebody to scream it’s Become sentient.

    Reply
  • July 1, 2019 at 5:49 am
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    This is stupid and terrible

    Reply
  • July 1, 2019 at 2:25 pm
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    Nerf: cchris wh why did you leave me!

    Reply
  • July 1, 2019 at 4:01 pm
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    The guys who made this are the people who made Death Battle. :I

    Reply
  • July 1, 2019 at 9:21 pm
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    Codeing i know that we did that at school it was fun and not fun but it was fun but uhhh it uuhhh oof

    Reply
  • July 2, 2019 at 7:40 pm
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    0:32 this is the cutest fallout reference like 👌

    Reply
  • July 3, 2019 at 2:09 am
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    max just wanna look at some TIDDY

    Reply
  • July 3, 2019 at 2:19 am
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    Max never drank his coffee 🙁

    Reply
  • July 4, 2019 at 2:03 pm
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    2019 anyone?

    Reply
  • July 5, 2019 at 3:03 am
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    0:32 there a vault boy Sticker that looks like Daniel

    Reply
  • July 5, 2019 at 5:18 pm
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    Why do I feel like Max would be one to hack? He did claim he knew how to hotwire the bus.

    Reply
  • July 6, 2019 at 12:08 am
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    4:07 it is. you’re not the only one… 5e bards are a powerful force to reckon with

    Reply
  • July 6, 2019 at 3:59 pm
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    That theatre kid is low key my favorite character now.

    Reply
  • July 6, 2019 at 9:41 pm
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    Max and Neil are Nikki's older brothers. Change my mind.

    Reply
  • July 7, 2019 at 3:19 pm
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    1:19 𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔, 𝑾𝑯𝒀 𝑫𝑰𝑫 𝒀𝑶𝑼 𝑳𝑬𝑨𝑽𝑬 𝑯𝑰𝑴

    Reply
  • July 8, 2019 at 4:18 am
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    I need to get myself a NOPE coffee mug

    Reply
  • July 8, 2019 at 4:38 pm
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    0:36 to 0:46 taken out of context.

    Reply
  • July 8, 2019 at 6:14 pm
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    0:33 Hello VaultBoy

    Reply
  • July 9, 2019 at 4:01 am
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    10:46 Squip? Is that you?

    Reply
  • July 9, 2019 at 5:51 am
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    Fudge the numbers

    Reply
  • July 9, 2019 at 5:56 am
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    6:39 David_Deactivate

    Reply
  • July 11, 2019 at 3:23 am
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    5:51

    Reply
  • July 11, 2019 at 6:30 pm
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    Neil jerks off to binary code confirmed.

    Reply
  • July 12, 2019 at 5:58 pm
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    i am a banana

    Reply
  • July 12, 2019 at 6:21 pm
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    So, Neil created SCP-079

    Reply
  • July 13, 2019 at 1:09 am
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    0:32 .i think i Saw vault-boy

    Reply
  • July 13, 2019 at 2:21 am
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    4:08 TBH I AGREE, BUT IT'S FUN PLAYING AS A BARD

    Reply
  • July 13, 2019 at 11:18 pm
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    5:03 – wow. max just perfectly described an average SJW (Social Justice Warrior).

    Reply
  • July 13, 2019 at 11:25 pm
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    0:35 we used to have a maths room which had a password lock and the password was also 3(.)14

    Reply
  • July 15, 2019 at 10:53 pm
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    Nikki’s eyebrows are backwards.

    Reply
  • July 15, 2019 at 11:39 pm
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    Coding is NOT relaxing. It's suffering.

    Reply
  • July 17, 2019 at 5:02 am
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    Neil’s safes code is 314

    Reply
  • July 17, 2019 at 1:15 pm
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    Neils got a squip situation

    Reply
  • July 18, 2019 at 2:22 am
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    "Chris, Why'd you leave me?.."
    NERF I–

    Reply
  • July 20, 2019 at 3:31 pm
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    Nurf vagually just came out to neil as liking guys omg

    Reply
  • July 21, 2019 at 3:14 am
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    Max agreed to watch a cat video? He's that precious huh XD

    Reply
  • July 21, 2019 at 9:10 pm
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    9:16
    should’ve signed Nikki up for logic camp instead of adventure camp…

    Reply
  • July 22, 2019 at 5:03 am
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    CHRIS WHY DID YOU LEAVE HIM

    Reply
  • July 25, 2019 at 1:11 am
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    Am I the only one who heard nerf say why’d u live he Chris lmao

    Reply
  • July 25, 2019 at 11:52 pm
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    I just relized that niel is kyle from south park except with brown hair instead of red…..they're both Jews too…

    Reply
  • July 26, 2019 at 10:11 am
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    0:32 is that vault boy?

    Reply
  • July 27, 2019 at 1:08 am
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    Hes like a smart A.I from Red vs blue like alpha

    Reply
  • July 27, 2019 at 2:21 am
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    1:50
    Oh my gosh Max XD

    Reply
  • July 28, 2019 at 12:25 am
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    Are we not evening talking about at 0:12 ???? Max ‘ Camp Campbell ‘ hhhhh—

    Reply
  • July 29, 2019 at 2:13 am
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    Neilbot has some strong AM vibes.

    Reply
  • July 30, 2019 at 1:44 am
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    Am I the only on that got mad that when the neil rocks screen saver hit the sides it never hit the corners 😡

    Reply
  • July 30, 2019 at 5:22 am
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    "I'll give you my-

    I'll play a game with you."

    Reply
  • July 30, 2019 at 7:03 am
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    Correction: Hard Pasd 1:38

    Reply
  • July 30, 2019 at 4:00 pm
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    Ah! Skynet!

    Reply
  • August 1, 2019 at 12:46 pm
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    Literally nobody:
    Preston: NEEDS MORE EMOTION

    Reply
  • August 4, 2019 at 12:57 am
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    Sooooooo Be More Chill

    Reply
  • August 4, 2019 at 2:07 am
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    YugeHands.exe

    Error:Could Not Find YugeHands.exe File Does Not Exist

    Reply
  • August 4, 2019 at 10:39 am
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    9:16 Nikki? Did you just… you know what, I’m not gonna question it

    Reply
  • August 6, 2019 at 2:42 am
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    I want David to meet caboose (from Red vs Blue)

    Reply
  • August 6, 2019 at 1:57 pm
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    welcome to airpain

    Reply
  • August 7, 2019 at 9:43 am
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    “you seem happy with your self,,”

    Reply
  • August 7, 2019 at 2:41 pm
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    “You wanna waste time on games?, you want some 🅱️🅾️🅾️🅱️s”

    Lmao.

    Reply
  • August 9, 2019 at 1:50 am
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    It Says “Mrs coffee” With a Bow On top

    Reply
  • August 9, 2019 at 12:12 pm
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    N E I L H A S A C H I L D?

    W H O S T H E M O M?!?!

    Reply
  • August 11, 2019 at 1:19 am
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    Let's see who can see the fallout reference
    Hint: fallout boy

    Reply
  • August 11, 2019 at 5:15 am
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    0:32 they referenced vault boy from fallout

    Reply
  • August 15, 2019 at 10:14 am
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    0:31 413 backwards, iT's HoMeStUcK-

    Reply
  • August 16, 2019 at 12:01 am
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    They h8n

    Reply
  • August 16, 2019 at 5:34 pm
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    Is this fake ls tell me this is fake🤔

    Reply
  • August 17, 2019 at 4:29 am
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    Theeey see me codinnnnnnn…
    They h8888888innnn…

    Reply
  • August 17, 2019 at 8:52 am
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    2:00

    Reply
  • August 17, 2019 at 9:01 am
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    1:49

    Reply
  • August 17, 2019 at 11:41 pm
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    1:50 lol Max 😂

    Reply
  • August 19, 2019 at 8:55 pm
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    Only for me This chat device talks Kinda like GLaDOS ??

    Reply
  • August 20, 2019 at 2:29 pm
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    w h o w a s s h i p p i n g p e o p l e ' s b a e s

    Reply
  • August 20, 2019 at 5:52 pm
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    Shipping who is my question

    Reply
  • August 21, 2019 at 3:05 am
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    Well I'll give you–
    THINKING
    Mind: don't say that

    Reply
  • August 21, 2019 at 7:15 pm
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    0:32 IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THE FALLOUT DANIEL!!!!?!?!?!????

    Reply
  • August 22, 2019 at 6:23 am
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    0:32 Is that… Vault boy David?

    Reply
  • August 22, 2019 at 6:17 pm
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    Lookatboobs

    Reply
  • August 24, 2019 at 10:13 pm
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    This is perfect for a 10 year old AVGN and Cartoon Network fan.

    Reply
  • August 25, 2019 at 4:34 am
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    Niel WTH 0:35

    Reply

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